I'd love to post more about little conversations we've had about the adoption and the preparations and the conversations within our family. I wish I was more on top of writing things down as they happen. Little remarks that the boys make. Little pieces of jewelry, hair accessories, and toys they bring home unexpectedly when they get the opportunity to spend a dollar or two or they get the chance to pick from a prize box and they choose something that makes me raise my eyebrows but then quickly hear the explanation (and melt inside) that it's "for the girls, mom". And, anyone who has adopted before knows all the little (and big) things that pop up as you're going through the process. Paperwork, deadlines, phone calls, phone calls, phone calls.....phone calls. :) And not really being a phone person, joy. So not every detail can possibly get shared. (Nor would you want to be in on each one!)
But then things like what I'm about to share happens and I can't help but SHARE.
We started a fundraiser through Lifesong for Orphans in early August. We were approved a matching grant of $4,000, meaning for every dollar we raise, Lifesong, through the support of our awesome and amazing church Grace Community, would match each one. So by the end of the fundraiser we would have $8,000 more towards the adoption. Our goal was September 30th. We reached the goal as of the 24th and have even gone over! Through the love and generosity of family and friends we are so much closer to being able to bring our girls home without debt. All we can say is THANK YOU. From the bottom of our hearts right down to our toes! You were the hands and feet of Jesus through every check made out and every click of that donate button. You are so much a part of giving these children a hope and a future through our family and for that we are forever grateful. How we can not wait to share with them how you were a part of their story before they even had a face or a name in your minds. And I know there are countless of you praying, too. And the power behind that is tremendous. Tremendous. We ask that you keep on praying for us and the girls as we wait to be united!
That's a question we've gotten a lot over the past couple of years when we mention that we're adopting.
Making the decision to adopt is a gargantuan one to begin with, but then when you're not even sure from where, the world begins to seem 10 times bigger!
And so, I started this post the other day and two days later as I still sat thinking about it, I realized I have a hard time with this question whenever people ask me. But not in a bad way. I would totally ask the same thing if someone told me they were adopting from a foreign country. And there are reasons why we chose Bulgaria over other countries. And there are reasons why we didn't pursue a domestic adoption. But the primary reason we chose Bulgaria is that there is a need there, God gave us the desire, and we felt compelled to pursue. And there are so many orphans around the world. A staggering number. If you look up "world orphan statistics" you would find lots of sites and information about the numbers and what they mean. I won't get into that here because, well....it's a lot of information! But if you'd like just a glimpse of the massive need around the world and in our country here are a couple of articles that I thought gave a lot of good information: 9 Powerful Statistics about the Orphan Crisis and Global Orphan Crisis - Facts and Statistics. It's alarming and heartbreaking all at the same time. And when I think about the children who are NOT even accounted for - street children, trafficked children, and child soldiers - it becomes even more disheartening.
But God never intended for us to be disheartened. To have a holy anger against the injustice? Yes. To be moved to act? Certainly. But not to be disheartened. He sees each one of those orphans without a home, without stability or any chance for a future. But He sees Hope, too. In the form of His church. His very own children. I love the Matthew West song "Do Something". Here are some of the lyrics:
I woke up this morning
Saw a world full of trouble now
Thought, how'd we ever get so far down
How's it ever gonna turn around
So I turned my eyes to Heaven
I thought, "God, why don't You do something?"
Well, I just couldn't bear the thought of
People living in poverty
Children sold into slavery
The thought disgusted me
So, I shook my fist at Heaven
Said, "God, why don't You do something?"
He said, "I did, I created you"
That last line. Sigh.
Every time I hear this song it makes me want to jump on a plane to Bulgaria and grab those girls and bring them home to us. Away from danger, away from fear, away from vulnerability, away from a lack of identity. And I want to give them Hope. His Hope. The Hope that He has promised to all who believe."...According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead..." (1 Peter 1:3) I don't want them aging out of anybody's system and being left out on the street to be vulnerable or victimized. I want them home. I want to "do something". My heart is I want this for every orphan out there. Here and around the world. And then sometimes I think about those children who have never known anything other than going from foster home to foster home, or living in an orphanage, and they don't even know that there is anything to miss. They may feel a hole in their heart where a family and identity should be but they can't vocalize what should be there.
So, why Bulgaria? That's just where God lead us. We could have done domestic, we could have gone the route of any other country in the world, but this is where God lead us. Whether here, or Africa, or Asia, or Eastern Europe the need is the same within the hearts of each orphaned child. They need a home. And we want to be that place they come to.
As Brad and I considered different countries and their restrictions and requirements, I would sometimes literally pray over the computer screen for the Lord to lead me right where He wanted me to be looking. For Him to give me a sense of "home" when I saw the country that our future children would be coming from. And that happened as I and Brad started reading about Bulgaria. About the Roma children. About the orphanages. About the need. And it felt right. And as we said yes to Bulgaria, it was amazing all the confirmations that kept on coming up!
Just as an example, one of our boys was invited to a birthday party that summer in the backyard of one of his friend's house. It was a big party, meant for my son's friend and his brother. It turned out there were very few classmates invited at all and it was more of a family party. A big, happy family party! As I was getting ready for the party, under the hair dryer, I prayed that the lord would keep on sending some sort of confirmation that Bulgaria was it, even though we felt He had already been doing that. Brad and I knew no one at the party, but about halfway through we met a woman who happened to stop by from next door. She didn't have kids at the party. She, too seemed not to know anyone. It turned out that her family had just gotten back from living in Bulgaria for 2 years. Her husband had a job working with the government officials there and she was involved in an organization that was geared to helping women get back on their feet, off the streets, and out of poverty. She started to tell us about the women she would go to who literally lived under the ground with their children for shelter and protection. That these underground shelters were long tunnels that ran all the way into Romania. That these women were sending their children up to beg for food and money because they had no other choice. As a mother, I would be crazy afraid everyday that my child wouldn't come back down to me. She told us that these women would refuse help from the woman I met at the party and the organization she worked for, basically from anybody. That's how stuck they were. Or maybe how disillusioned they were that anyone would really want to help and not have some other agenda to put them or their children in harm's way. She said this is what happens to many girls who age out of orphanages in Bulgaria and Romania. Heartbreaking. I don't want at least two of them to end up there.
So, maybe in the beginning when we first made the decision for Bulgaria, the two of us were kind of like, "Really? Bulgaria?" We just trusted what God was doing in the peace He gave to the both us, and month after month, year after year (:/) He keeps planting little seeds of, "This is why...." But the biggest little seed He planted - James 1:27, "Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world." Here's that song I mentioned before.
